He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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