the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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