okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dick very happy bro
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
