Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
