you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
