WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
