As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
