no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
