Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
