Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize