some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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