Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
