i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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