Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I could fuck to npr.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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