u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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