did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
should my penis look like a turkey
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
