I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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