I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
