Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just invented taco cereal.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
