I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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