i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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