i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
