This is not my ceiling
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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