you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
