the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
