Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
