I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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