You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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