SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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