Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize