Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
