What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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