pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
