college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
