i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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