I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
