Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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