I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize