it hurts more in the daytime
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
