I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
