so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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