summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
