Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
