I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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