i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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