I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
either way he was missing a nipple.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Drunk is not a location!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
