idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
