She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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