How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
