he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
