and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
