Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize