It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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