Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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