its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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