I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
