my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
