She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
