Define "chronic" masturbator.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
