He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
