Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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