so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
