dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
