Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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