I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We just shotgunned beers for America
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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