I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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