you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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