I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
