Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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