i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
