i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
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