drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
