Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
